On the Nature of Demons
by Mayushii
Summary: A series of oneshots depicting demon nature. 1: Kitsune reproductive cycles. 2: Fashion sense. 3: Demonic perceptions of human love. 4: Demonic language. Shonen-ai, Hiei/Kurama.
1. World of Weirdoes

World of Weirdoes

by Mayushii

All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.

A/N: Based on _Ghost Fighter _(yes, I used the _Ghost Fighter _names because they're just too damn funny). The story is legend so I'm sure most of you have heard about it, but if you haven't, at least you should get a laugh out of the fic. …Also, this story may contain BOY+BOY depending on how you read it. If you don't have a problem with that, please read and review.

Yusuke=Eugene

Koenma=Jericho

Hiei=Vincent

Kurama=Dennis

Kuwabara=Alfred

STUDY

Eugene smiled at the demons. Months ago these two had been at the top of Jericho's most wanted list, but now they were his comrades. He knew they would be a great help against the Four Beasts. Vincent was strong, fast, and he had that cursed Eye. Denise, meanwhile, was tall and pretty and graceful as a willow…

Eugene suddenly frowned.

"Denise? Have you lost weight?" The fox demon blinked, looking taken aback.

"What in the world makes you think that?" Denise wondered. Eugene squinted and then nodded quickly. It wasn't just his imagination.

"Your hips are skinnier." Eugene's eyes roved over the fox demon's body, looking for other changes. "Your waist is thicker. Your shoulders are a little broader, and…your legs look a tiny bit shorter."

Denise looked puzzled. Vincent looked confused, too, one eyebrow raised and his mouth tugged down in a frown. The shorter demon suddenly smirked and tugged on Denise's sleeve, whispering into the fox's ear.

"Oh!" Denise straightened up and smiled brightly at Eugene. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize what you were getting at. I'm a boy."

Eugene and Alfred blinked. A full second of stunned shock passed before anyone could speak.

"Are you _serious?_" Alfred said incredulously.

"There's no way you're a boy, you were definitely a girl when I met you!" Eugene exclaimed. Denise—or rather, Dennis—closed his deep green eyes and waved a hand in merry dismissal.

"Well, of course. I was in the human world then. Fox demons react to the environment, didn't you know?" Dennis opened his eyes, seeing the humans' dumbfounded expressions, and raised one finger matter-of-factly. "The Earth emits a safe, nurturing aura. When I'm around that aura, I relax and become female. Here in the demon world, where the scent of blood fills the air, there is a dangerous aura. My own energy reacts to the danger and transforms me into a stronger shape—that is to say, a male shape."

Eugene and Alfred were flabbergasted. Vincent rolled his eyes and sighed.

"They don't get it," Vincent informed Dennis. A drop of sweat fell down the fox demon's forehead.

"Well, I don't know how else to explain it," Dennis said. "Really though, it's very natural for fox demons. Now let's hurry on, okay? Those Beasts aren't going to take themselves out, you know!"

Dennis walked down the path toward the castle, humming and flouncing like a girl…or a very, very gay boy. Vincent shot a sideways glance at the two humans.

"Basically, Denise becomes a boy or a girl based on how much danger she's in. The aura of the planet helps, but it's really her own subconscious that decides whether it's safe to stay female." He started after the fox, hands buried in his pockets. "Has something to do with whether or not she thinks it's safe enough to bear cubs. Just accept it."

"Yo, Vince," Eugene said. "Quick question."

Vincent paused to show that he was listening.

"How do you guys…you know…do stuff in the demon world?"

The demon let out a strangled snarl and turned around.

"If _she _senses danger then we're _both _in danger, you idiot! Do you really think we're going to be screwing around when we know it's not safe?"

"Hey, okay man, just asking!" Eugene laughed out loud. Vincent stalked down the path, and Eugene followed after, snickering to himself.

Alfred blinked after his teammates.

"What the heck kind of world have I jumped into…?" he wondered.

CONCLUSION

_Kitsune transsexuality is a defensive mechanism. Female kitsune, while more skilled with energy manipulation, are often targeted by stronger demons because of their more vulnerable bodies. As such, kitsune take the less-targeted male form when they perceive a threat. Kitsune can take their female form when the situation is perceived as safe enough for reproduction. A kitsune can retain its male form even in conditions perceived as safe, but cannot retain its female form under unsafe conditions._


	2. Fashion Sense

Fashion Sense

by Mayushii

All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.

A/N: After reading hundreds of fics where no one can accurately name what Hiei is wearing, I decided to write this. Now when you write your own story, you will know exactly how to describe our favorite demon's ensemble! Rejoice, read, review, and do other r-rated things! ...I mean... You know what I mean.

STUDY

It was ninety degrees outside. At least, that was what the thermometer had read when Yusuke had left his apartment around ten o'clock; with the sun burning white-hot overhead, he was willing to bet it was closer to a hundred now.

Yusuke walked down the street, his green jacket slung over his shoulder. A few kids were spraying each other with a hose on the sidewalk, but most of the people had retreated into their houses and turned their air conditioners on full-blast. Yusuke would have done the same if his mom would get off her lazy ass and call the landlord to fix their broken AC; as it was, he was wandering the streets in search of a cool shop to hang out in.

He blinked, catching sight of two girls as they walked down the sidewalk. Yeah, they were cute, but the thing that interested Yusuke was the cones of ice cream they held in their hands.

"Hey, where did you get those?" Yusuke asked one of the girls. She sneered at him, turning away distastefully, and continued down the street.

"Yuck, did you see how greasy that guy was?" one of the girls asked.

"Totally gross..." her friend replied.

"Yeah, real nice," Yusuke muttered, attempting to wipe the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He went down the way the girls came, spotting the ice cream parlor. He ducked inside, shivering slightly as he stepped into the blissfully cold shop. "Ahhhhh... Maybe I'll just hang out here all day..."

"Yusuke?"

Yusuke opened his eyes. Kurama and Hiei were seated in the booth nearest the door. Hiei had turned around in his chair to stare at Yusuke, and Kurama was blinking in surprise on the opposite end of the table.

"Yo! Kurama, Hiei! What are you two doing here?" Yusuke greeted, walking toward them. Kurama, he noticed, had surrendered to the heat and had pulled his long hair into a ponytail to keep it off his neck. He was also wearing a short-sleeved, pale yellow dress shirt over a white tank. Hiei, on the other hand, was wearing his usual black and white ensemble and seemed damn near oblivious to the weather.

"I should ask the same question. This is a little out of your way, isn't it?" Kurama said.

"Had to find someplace with AC," Yusuke answered.

"Hn. You humans and your ED," Hiei snorted, turning back to his ice cream and scooping out the last spoonful. Yusuke barely managed to hold back his laughter, and he caught Kurama biting his lip to keep from smiling.

"Nah, we don't really have ED when it's hot," Yusuke snickered. "When it's cold, maybe."

"Yusuke," Kurama said reprovingly. Hiei glanced up at Kurama, looking puzzled, and narrowed his eyes when he realized he was being made fun of (though he still didn't know what he had said wrong).

"Kurama, what is he talking about?" Hiei asked suspiciously. Kurama gave him a charming smile.

"Nothing, Hiei. He's just being silly." Kurama stood up in order to take his wallet from his back pocket. He fished out several bills and handed them to Hiei. "Why don't you buy us all some more ice cream? Pick whatever you like, but remember—"

"Lactose intolerant, I know." Hiei, apparently placated by the prospect of choosing his own ice cream, left his seat and walked up to the counter. His black cloak-thing flapped around his calves. Yusuke watched the demon until he was out of earshot.

"Hey, Kurama? What is that weird cloak-thing Hiei's always wearing? Is it, like, a robe or what?" Yusuke asked. Kurama scooped up some of his strawberry and yogurt parfait.

"It's a coat, Yusuke,'" Kurama said mildly. He opened his mouth and swallowed the treat, then went for another spoonful. "That particular style is of Chinese origin, I believe. For the record, cloaks are wrapped around the shoulders and do not have sleeves."

"Okay, so how about the white thing?" Yusuke pressed.

"That's called a cowl. Well, no, actually," Kurama glanced up thoughtfully, "it _is_ a scarf, but you're only supposed to call it that when the ends hang loose. When the ends are tucked in the way Hiei wears it, it's a cowl."

"So what about the pants?"

"Matabiki, you should know that." Kurama closed his eyes, deeply enjoying his cold parfait now. Ah, delicious...

"Okay," Yusuke said, nodding. "And his underwear?"

"He doesn't wear—" Kurama's eyes snapped open. "Yusuke! Why in the world would I know what sort of underwear he wears?"

Yusuke shrugged innocently.

"What are you shrieking about, Fox?"

Hiei had returned. In one hand he held a cup of hot fudge sundae, while in the other he held a banana split with a scoop each of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry topped with cherry sauce. There were two spoons in the banana boat, Yusuke noticed; Hiei obviously intended to share with Kurama.

"Ah! Nothing, nothing!" Kurama jumped from his seat, his cheeks as red as his hair as he ran off to the bathroom to hide. Yusuke watched Kurama leave with a raised eyebrow. Those jeans looked good on Kurama. They were slung very low on his hips, hugged his thighs nicely, and flared out at the bottom.

"Hey, Hiei?" Yusuke asked. "Is Kurama wearing _girl's _jeans?"

"Just eat your damn ice cream, detective."

CONCLUSION

_In general, humanoid demons wear clothing. Due to isolation from the human world after the raising of the Kekkai barrier, demon fashion has evolved quite differently from that of humans. Heavy East Asian influence can be seen in current Makai clothing trends. Additionally, Makai undergarments are obsolete and rarely worn._


	3. Love

"Love"

by Mayushii

All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.

A/N: And Hiei found that he didn't ever, ever want to feel that abomination humans called "love." This chapter is from Hiei's POV. Obviously human love isn't as bad as he thinks it is, but it's different. Please don't get mad, because I love Kuwabara+Yukina! I just had to find an example of human love and that was the first thing that came to mind.

STUDY

Hiei stared with narrowed eyes. Had the human really just said that? An illness? The fool had proclaimed himself a champion of love and justice only a few hours ago! How could Kuwabara possibly think that love was an illness? It just made no _sense _for Kuwabara to call it that, especially when he was so obviously enamored with Yukina.

So what was it that bothered the human about Itsuki's confession? Did he think that a demon's love was somehow less pure than a human's, that it would contaminate him? That was just shit, Hiei thought. Had he forgotten that Yukina was a demon? If a human's love was purer than hers, Hiei would throw down his sword and swear off fighting for the rest of his life.

Hiei glanced out of the corner of his eye at Kurama. He recognized the narrow-eyed stare and the small frown. Clearly the fox was bothered by Kuwabara's statement. Given his years living among humans, Hiei wondered if Kurama knew what Kuwabara had meant, because Hiei wasn't familiar with human culture and the whole thing had flown right over his head.

Oftentimes, Hiei found himself looking to Kurama for help in understanding human concepts, but it wasn't just in the field of human cultures that Hiei admired his expertise. In almost every way, Kurama was older, wiser, and smarter. So much more experienced, so calm and cool, and so very good-looking... Kurama was everything Hiei wanted to be.

Hiei thought sometimes that he loved his best friend.

After all, love was admiration. You didn't love someone if you didn't respect them in some way. In Makai, Hiei had found that healthy, loving demons were both wildly affectionate and fanatically jealous of their own mates. If there was one thing Hiei had learned, it was that there was no difference between wanting someone and wanting to be like someone. The two concepts were inseparable and indivisible. It made relationships in Makai rather passionate because love and jealousy tended to be in equal measures. And this desire to be like one's mate also meant that when looking for romance, demons often took mates of the same sex because they identified with them more. This, in Hiei's mind, was just the natural order of the world.

So yes, Hiei admired Kurama. And he was jealous of him. That was just how love _worked_. And how was Itsuki's love for Sensui any different? Itsuki recognized traits in Sensui that he admired, and that made him both like and envy the human. It was..._natural_.

But what about Kuwabara? Hiei thought further. Kuwabara always said that he "loved" Yukina. He "loved" that she was small, sweet, beautiful, pure, and a girl. Yet Kuwabara picked on Hiei because he was small, made fun of Yusuke because he was sweet and pure, questioned Kurama's ability to fight because he was beautiful...and his ultimate insult for any one of them was that they were "being a girl." To Hiei, it sounded like Kuwabara did not want to be like Yukina at all—that perhaps he even _pitied _her. What sense did that make? How was that _love_?

The one thing that humans claimed made them different from everyone else was that they could love. But this...this _thing _they felt was not love. It was... It was...

Some human emotion, not love, but something else. Hiei thought that it must be some sort of perverted sexual desire, like masochism or necrophilia. You weren't supposed to like being hurt and humiliated, or to be attracted to corpses, but some weird, perverted people did. It wasn't healthy, it wasn't _right_. You didn't _pity_ someone you loved. It was backwards!

And that sort of perversion was something healthy demons _did not feel_. It was a purely human sickness, to be attracted to someone you didn't respect. And Hiei found that he didn't ever, ever want to feel that abomination humans called "love."

CONCLUSION

_The emotion demons call "love" does not equate to the human emotion of the same name. Demons associate romance with admiration instead of reproduction. As such, demons have come to conclude that a romantic partner should be someone to respect and emulate. Because reproduction is not necessarily included in romance, same-sex relations are common and even favored among demons. Sex for reproduction appears to have little emotional significance._


	4. Language Barriers

Language Barriers

by Mayushii

All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.

A/N: Written because I ate waffles today. But of course, the food isn't the main point of this chapter. It's the language. …Actually, I love an-pan and inarizushi too, but I'm definitely not a kitsune. I'm just a girl who likes food… *sweat drops*

STUDY

Kurama stood at the kitchen counter with Shiori, rolling a glob of dough between his hands. He put the dough onto the floury wooden board and flattened it into a circle. Reaching toward a large metal bowl, he took a spoonful of _anko_ and dropped the sticky red jam into the center of the dough. Then, unable to resist, he licked some of the cold jam from the spoon.

"Shuichi!" Shiori laughed as her son blushed guiltily. "Enough already! We won't have any left for the _an-pan_."

"Sorry," Kurama offered a sheepish smile. "I'll go clean it."

He crossed the kitchen and went to wash the spoon. They had spent the entire weekend on this project; they had cooked the jam last night and left it to chill in the fridge, and they had passed most of the afternoon making the dough. Of course, their efforts would be wasted if Kurama ate all of the jam.

Shiori shook her head, smiling fondly as she continued flattening her dough. Kurama replaced the newly clean spoon in the jam bowl, and returned to the roll he was making. Folding up the corners of the dough, he sealed the jam inside. He glanced at the squareish bun and then at his mother.

"What are you doing?" Kurama asked. Shiori was flattening dough all over her plastic cutting board, covering the entire surface.

"Have you ever made filo?" Kurama shook his head, and Shiori took a knife from the drawer, cutting the dough into long strips. "Well, instead of doing all that," she motioned at Kurama's rolls, "you can fold the dough into triangles. It's easier, and it folds up much more neatly."

Shiori took the spoon and dropped a generous dollop of jam onto the corner of one of the dough strips. She folded the corner over so that it touched the other side of the strip, then pinched the edges shut and cut the pocket of dough away. Kurama blinked as Shiori handed him the neatly-folded triangle.

"See? Very easy."

Kurama tried his hand at it, finding it wasn't too hard once he knew how to do it. They quickly finished making the rolls.

"Well, that's it! Now we just let them rise for an hour, and then we can put them in the oven." Shiori smiled, wiping away a bit of sweat from her forehead and streaking flour over her face. "What time is your friend coming over?"

"I thought he said five," Kurama said, glancing at the clock. It read fifteen past now. "I wonder where he is…"

"Maybe traffic was bad?" Shiori suggested. Kurama shook his head slowly. Then his sharp ears picked up a faint sound. He wandered out of the kitchen and down the hall, following the increasingly louder racket. It sounded like knocking… Yelping, Kurama hurried to the foyer and nearly threw open the front door.

Hiei looked up at him, one eye squinted critically.

"Your bell is broken," Hiei informed him in a flat voice.

"Ah—! I'm sorry, Hiei! I didn't know!"

"Hn! Moron _youko_," Hiei snorted loudly, obviously intending the word to be offensive. Shiori entered the foyer.

"Oh, good afternoon! You are Hiei-_kun_, right? _Hajimemashite_," Shiori said, bowing at the waist. "_Minamino Shiori to moushimasu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu_." Hiei glanced at Kurama skeptically and received a nervous, pleading look in return.

"Ah, Kaasan, Hiei isn't from Japan," Kurama explained quickly when Hiei flatly refused to introduce himself. "He's not very familiar with the customs here." Kurama placed a hand on Hiei's back, pushing lightly. "Hiei, you say '_Hajimemashite_' when you're meeting someone for the first time. When you've finished introducing yourself, you say '_Yoroshiku onegaishimasu_' in the hope that you will be looked upon favorably."

Hiei saw Kurama's prodding look and sighed.

"_Hajimemashite. Hiei da—desu_," Hiei muttered. He ducked his head in a very, very short bow. "_Yoroshiku onegaishimasu_."

"Ah, your Japanese is very good, isn't it?" Shiori said eagerly.

"Not really," Hiei said flatly. Modern Japanese and the Makai languages had the same roots, but the two dialects he had grown up with (East Makai and Makai Common) had been isolated from Japan since the end of the eighteenth century. Hiei barely knew how to use the -_masu _form, it was so rare in Makai, and neither of the dialects he knew used humble form at all.

"Where are you from?" Shiori asked.

"Alaric." Shiori stared in confusion, and Kurama's smile became almost obviously painful.

"It's, ah, it's in Europe," Kurama lied. "Very small town. Not a lot of people know where it is, right Hiei?"

"It's bigger than the Asian mainland."

"Isn't he funny?" Kurama let out a panicky laugh, stomping on Hiei's foot to shut him up. The demon cussed in Makai Common; Shiori stared and Kurama sweatdropped.

"Erm… Well! We have to clean up in the kitchen, but then shall we have lunch?" Shiori said abruptly.

"Yes!" Kurama said quickly, grateful for the change in subject. Hiei gave him an annoyed look.

The three went back to the kitchen, Hiei taking a seat on a stool and watching as Kurama and Shiori cleaned up the mess they had made. Kurama looked pathetically at the metal bowl which still had dribbles of jam inside of it. Shiori shook her head in mock exasperation.

"Oh, all right." Kurama almost purred and dipped his finger into the bowl, wiping away some of the jam and slurping on it happily. Hiei let out a loud snort, which caught Shiori's attention; Shiori gave him an amused smile, and for the first time in his life Hiei found himself in wholehearted agreement with a human.

After they had cleaned up, Kurama and Shiori brought Hiei to a restaurant a few streets over. They were seated at a booth, and they spent only a minute looking at the menus before a waiter came to greet them.

"What can I get for you?" the waiter asked, his notepad at the ready.

"Hm, the shrimp tempura looks good… And melon tea," Shiori decided. Hiei glanced at the menu, his eyes casually skimming over the menu as if he did this sort of thing every day, and then turned to Kurama and said in Makai Common that he had no idea what he was looking at. Kurama nearly fell out of his seat. Hiei couldn't read Japanese!

"Fine, just tell me which one is the _ketsuheki-giyuuniku,_" Hiei said, annoyed.

"Erm, I don't think they serve that here," Kurama laughed.

"Oh, what is ketsuheki-giyuuniku?" Shiori asked curiously. Hiei turned, looking slightly confused now, and Kurama let out a weak giggle.

"It's, ah, it's beef boiled in brandy and served with vegetable fried rice piled on top," Kurama said helplessly. Brandy, yes of course.

"We can special order that if you want," the waiter said. He jotted it down.

"And for you, s—"

"_Inarizushi_," Kurama said immediately. The waiter smiled, amused, and quickly wrote this down too.

"Okay, I'll be back soon," the waiter said, bowing.

Soon enough, the waiter did return. Kurama, like most hungry teenage boys, dug into his food with no reserve. Shiori watched him for a minute with wide eyes before smiling softly.

"You must be a _kitsune_," Shiori murmured. Kurama choked on his food.

"Ehhhh—?" Kurama whined, shocked and horrified that Shiori had somehow guessed his true identity. "Wh-wh-what makes you say that?"

Shiori giggled.

"Anko and tofu are tasty things for kitsune, aren't they?" Shiori pointed out. Kurama paused for a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief. She was only joking.

"Well, my friends call me that sometimes," Kurama said. "I never really got the joke."

Kurama sweat dropped, laughing weirdly. Hiei just blinked.

"Hey fox, what kind of blood is this 'brandy' anyway?"

CONCLUSION

_In Makai, demons learn two different languages: Makai Common and a regional dialect. In some dialects there is a polite "-__masu" form, but for the most part Makai languages use only plain form. Certain dialects from northeast Makai also include multiple humility levels, but humility is considered largely obsolete. Pronunciation and usage have also evolved over time._

_In this case study, the speaker of East Makai dialect refers to a popular Makai dish, "__ketsuheki giyuuniku". This is an example of phonetic evolution. The two words used have the same roots as the modern Japanese words __"ketsueki" ("blood") and __"gyuuniku" ("beef"). Note that the 'e' mora has been emphasized as 'he' in the Makai dialect. Also note that in Japanese __"giyu" and __"gyu" are different words, but in East Makai they are allophonic._

_The speaker also uses the word __"youko" in place of __"kitsune". __"Kitsune" is the Japanese word for a fox, and may refer to a plain fox or a fox demon. In Makai, there is a distinction made between the two. __"Kitsune" is a plain fox while a __"youko" is a fox demon. Similar distinctions have been made for many demon species._


End file.
